The Slob BlogBecause slobs need love too!

Forgetting appointments can be tricky, because there is often someone else’s money and time involved, but don’t  let guilt take over.  Remember, it is normal to forget appointments now and then, so just stick to your guns.  What are you supposed to do, right down every little appointment and check the list every day?  You aren’t Santa Claus.  Below are ways to handle the situation with grace and style.

Take a Stance: Decide that this is the day you will become political.  Call up the doctor, or manicurist, or Pilate’s instructor and tell them that you are staging a protest against their services.  Come up with a reason, but don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense, they will be tuning you out at this point anyway.  Tone is important, however, so make sure you sound angry and driven to action.  Then, make sure you ask politely if you can reschedule.

Be Conveniently Confused: Go to the office, or beauty shop, or fitness center the next day and act irate when you see that the person is with another client.  Demand that they get themselves organized before making anymore appointments with you.  Be sure to mention that you value your time, and they should too.  They’ll be so embarrassed for you when they realize you are wrong that they won’t contend the point.  Make sure they give you the most convenient next meeting to make up for wasting your day.

Escape a Catastrophe: When the person calls to find out why you missed your appointment, act confused.  Say, “What do you mean I missed it, we were evacuated because of the chemical leak.”  When they ask you what you are talking about, become very concerned.  Say, “My god, you don’t even remember, you must have been very badly exposed.  You should get off the phone with me and call the doctor right now.”  Even if they catch you on this one, they’ll probably just label you as crazy, which is also a great way of escaping responsibility.

Never be Ashamed to Forget:

Everybody forgets things from time to time and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Forgetting is the brain’s normal way of dealing with the useless garbage we try to shove in there.  Remember all those lectures your mom gave you about waiting until marriage?  No?  Exactly!  You got rid of something you didn’t find useful.  Most of us do the same thing with math, geography, and our boss’s rules about not surfing the web on company hours.  What would be the point of busying the mind with these things?  The problems begin when our minds get so busy with all the little details of our lives, that they start taking the matter into their own hands.  Minds don’t have hands, but you know what I mean.  Our brains start dropping information that we could have actually used like birthdates, names, appointments, and the date of our last period.  (Men don’t have to worry about this, but for some reason when we ladies go to the doctor, he or she always wants to know this stuff)

Great Things to Forget

1. Forget you’re broke
2. Forget you’re on a diet
3. Forget you can’t sing when doing karaoke
4. Forget you’re a vegetarian
5. Forget your workout
6. Forget your inhibitions
7. Forget you’re afraid of heights when skydiving
8. Forget your ex-boyfriend
9. Forget the speed limit when speeding
10. Forget to be embarrassed when you fall down