Posted by Administrator | Posted in Slob Base | Posted on 06-11-2009
Tags: bedroom, box things up, clear clutter, clutter, conquer clutter, get organized
Organizing experts are constantly telling us how we can get rid of and even “conquer” our clutter. What did the clutter ever do to us? Does it really deserve this aggression and disdain? We’re the ones that put it there in the first place. You wouldn’t adopt three orphans from third world countries and then try to figure out why there’s no room in your spare bedrooms. You wouldn’t box them up and send them away on their third birthdays…no, you’ve made a commitment to them, and that’s the same commitment you should be showing all the precious things you’ve accumulated over the years. Don’t be an unfit clutter mommy. (*Not that I’m comparing human children to knick-knacks you’ve purchased at the local flee market. That would be wrong. They’re more like vintage jeans you found at a trendy second-hand store on Melrose.)
A lot of people think the problem with clutter is that it takes up too much space and that it doesn’t allow you enough room to live your life. But that’s just not true. The stuff takes up the exact right amount of space. The problem is you. You’re living too big. Learn to take up less room doing your daily routine, and figuring out how to navigate around all your “stuff” won’t be such a problem anymore.
Why are you being so greedy? Don’t you know that this planet is overpopulated? Learning to live smaller can be your service to humanity.
Bed so covered with so much stuff you can’t even lie down to sleep? So what? Learn to sleep standing up. Anybody can sleep lying down. How about challenging your self Lazy?
No room to walk through your bedroom? Tuck those arms in! Turn sideways. Or better yet, leave that room alone. What makes you so special that you feel you should be able to go into EVERY room in your house? Maybe that room should be a place where your stuff can be left alone, without you constantly barging in to bother it.
Experts are also fond of telling slobs that they should box their things up and send it away. Well I think that’s just false imprisonment. What right do we have to rob innocent knick-knacks of their freedoms? I say stop trying to conquer your clutter and declare peace once and for all. Learn to get along with the clutter in your life, or I say you don’t deserve to have it in the first place.
